The day I’ve been anticipating and dreading is almost upon me – my orientation for graduate school is tomorrow morning! I believe I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, so I’m trying to find some sort of zen and just let it happen.
It’s funny, I know I’ve gone through high school, adapting to a huge campus at U of A, and then finishing myat ASU with honors, and yet I still sometimes have incredible doubts in myself. I remember when I was finishing fourth grade, my teacher ominously warned us about the terror that would await us in 5th grade. She cautioned that our unruly antics wouldn’t be tolerated, and that we’d all have an impossible amount of homework every night. Of course that never happened, but the same fear creeps up whenever I come up to some sort of milestone. I heard the same spiel between 6th grade and 7th, between middle school and high school, and of course the over-exaggerated warnings only amplified the summer between high school and college.
So I’m in the same boat now, but this time I’m worried that the warnings will be true – that grad school will be next to impossible, and that I’ll drop out an incredible loser. I know it’s irrational and not true – but what can I say, the late night ramblings of an overachiever I guess! One thing I’m always reminded of is a scene in my favorite childhood show, Full House, where DJ falls asleep the night before her SA’T’s and dreams that she too will fail miserably. Check it out below, and I’ll update about the first day tomorrow!